Many a nerd has fantasized about their favorite comic book babe and the wonderful sweet love that could be make with them; while perusing the many forums around the web I have found that some go as far as thinking that many of these femme fatales would make execellent girlfriends or wives There are plenty of sites on the net that offer up the sexiest and most desirable of plentiful stock of comic book babes but only us here at The Data Feed have the balls of steel to tell you how it is, and what bad babes to avoid. So in case you suddenly get a genie, reality warping powers, or consume copious amounts of LSD read up, because week after week we will making you think twice about your secret fantasy relationship with the girl of your dreams. Which brings us to……
I know what you are thinking what could possibly be wrong with a sexy blue women who could turn into any of your other nerdy fantasy babes on a whim? Why dear god would any man turn down the esteemed chance to be a father in-law to Nightcrawler, one of the most badass mutants to ever wear the leotard? Well my poor, confused, inquisitive friend let me tell you.
1. She hates you-
As a leading member of The Brotherhood of Mutants, she has a love for mutants and a fairly keen hatred for everyone else. Chances are that you my fine sir are not an member of the badass gene pool that spawns the kinda man that makes her all hot and bothered. Mystique even formed her only little happy band of evil mutants with the goal of killing off humans and instigating the glorious revival of mutant kind. If Mystique’s glaring hatred and disgust of your mundane, non-mutant DNA is not to deflate your um..”vast ego” ; keep in mind that it standard practice for her to lure you in with her sexy ways, kill you, then steal your appearance. If she would please instead of tease, I am sure plenty a man would still consider it a win; but why die when all you get is a little boob at best?
2. She is old and hot, You’ll get old and die-
I have nothing against the granny lovers in the audience, in fact it is you fine gentleman that keep the senior citizens busy while we play on their lawn. Mystique has been alive for centuries, and before someone mentions the experience in certain areas she must have acquired, I want you to think about it. Mystique can change her appearance so will always be a smoking hot piece of tail, you however
will get old and unappealing. Now unless she is your bound, unwilling slave your sagging physique will not keep her entertained for long. This too might not seem all that bad, you get 10 years of hotness then she is gone; wait. what. what happened to all the other men she has had in the past? Well they have a tendency to die horrible brutal deaths when Mystique gets bored and goes looking for a younger stud. To be fair they aren’t all her fault, but still “horrible brutal deaths”
3. She can always test you-
Say you are out having dinner at some fancy eatery(Buffalo Wild Wings) with a group of friends and enemies that you have invited so that you could show off your stellar babe( stellars still cool right, right) when all of a sudden a cute waitress walks by and you turn your head. Nothing escapes the hawk like gaze of Mystique and later that during lunch when you go to bathroom the waitress rushes you and leans in close for a kiss. With the waitress oozing sexuality and with you being a man, your other head does the thinking and you kiss her. As you do the waitress turns into a royally ticked off Mystique, and your neck gets snapped. This is just one example, you would never be able to talk to anyone about anything without having to wonder if it is really her in disguise. The bro you ranted to about her need to wear baby skulls all the time, yeah that was Mystique, and she is pissed. She has what almost every other girl want to have: the ability to know what you think about her, and if given a hot perfect situation if you would give in to temptation. Maybe you would always be faithful and true, so the slew of sexy girls vying for a hot piece of you wouldn’t turn you, but even then you still don’t know if one of the guys is actually your women.
4. If you make her mad she can not only kill you, but scar you for life-
If you think that your girlfriend mess with your psyche now, just give them the ability to make your worse fears come alive. Some women withhold sex if they are miffed at you, not Mystique; she will lay you down by the fire, get all sexy, and when the ocean is about to be in motion- turn into a 400lb pound tub of sweaty man meat or maybe your mother or grandmother or the creepy clown who touched you at summer camp( repress, repress). Get the point? Lets do show and tell-
This, in your bed, she is still caressing your earlobe with her mouth, asking if you like her cooking now!
That concludes our first Don’t Date Babe of the Week, would you still date her? Got an Idea for next week? Disagree with a part of the post? Want to tell me go to hell? Then leave a comment below!